Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
