When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Randomize
