Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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