white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
There was a lot of him and a little penis
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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