At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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