I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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