farters have to be the big spoon...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
