I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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