I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
foreskin is a definite game changer
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
