She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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