i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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