I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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