Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Can you bring me the toilet please
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
