hotel room ftw
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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