omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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