i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
