I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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