she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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