i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
