So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
