It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
