we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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