i can't believe i had my finger in that
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
