I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
