You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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