Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
