ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
