peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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