apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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