i wish peter jackson would direct porn
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!