It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.