Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.