did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.