Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Who died my cat blue again?