I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP