Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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