If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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