I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
