I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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