Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
