you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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