after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.