he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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