If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?