good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.