Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul

(313): View more from Michigan

Not half as good looking as paul

(248): View more from Michigan

I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge

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(248): That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul (313): Not half as good looking as paul (248): I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge http://tfl.nu/0tcw

Replies (5) Good night (1015) Bad night (505)
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(845): View more from New York

i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen

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(845): i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen http://tfl.nu/31v4

Replies (20) Good night (2353) Bad night (644)
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(406): View more from Montana

also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)

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(406): also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome) http://tfl.nu/u3lw

Replies (7) Good night (551) Bad night (2013)
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(630): View more from Illinois

The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..

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(630): The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning.. http://tfl.nu/4rfg

Replies (16) Good night (4755) Bad night (1025)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...

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(814): You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum... http://tfl.nu/p3s1

Replies (20) Good night (7235) Bad night (1991)
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(315): View more from New York

he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...

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(315): he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear... http://tfl.nu/9by5

Replies (19) Good night (4452) Bad night (1956)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us

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(920): We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us http://tfl.nu/fe65

Replies (16) Good night (3771) Bad night (879)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?

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(814): where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ? http://tfl.nu/ejao

Replies (8) Good night (2488) Bad night (702)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.

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(978): girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good. http://tfl.nu/jyv0

Replies (4) Good night (1632) Bad night (622)
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(330): View more from Ohio

You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.

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(330): You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka. http://tfl.nu/837a

Replies (6) Good night (906) Bad night (948)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.

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(812): Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding. http://tfl.nu/ofow

Replies (16) Good night (2374) Bad night (828)
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(585): View more from New York

Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?

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(585): Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/z6wh

Replies (13) Good night (1308) Bad night (593)
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(630): View more from Illinois

That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."

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(630): That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits." http://tfl.nu/sgvn

Replies (5) Good night (991) Bad night (482)
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(510): View more from California

You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.

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(510): You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us. http://tfl.nu/8vs9

Replies (7) Good night (588) Bad night (738)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.

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(724): She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment. http://tfl.nu/wo3z

Replies (5) Good night (1281) Bad night (462)

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