You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
