My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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