3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
