I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
