Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
