Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Did we literally take a cab across the street
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
