I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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