DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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