I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
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I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
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She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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