No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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