I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
