Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize