We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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