I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
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Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
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party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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