No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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