i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
