i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You left your phone here
Wait...
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